A moment to reflect..

Friday, April 26, 2013 7:24 PM Posted by The Cookie Cutter Diva 0 comments
So many changes have happened over the last half year.. some of the better, some not so great and some just a great learning experience to know where I stand!
I have been working on many stages in my life to slowly decrease the stress and get back to the life I once prided myself for having. Not because it was better then anyone's but because it was where I wanted my family to be. I said I wouldn't return the kids to school, I said I'd never be a working mom, I said if I worked I never would work opposite shifts from my husband, I said I'd never put my child in daycare, etc..
I chose to send the kids back almost out of pressure from trying to multi task to much .. babysitting while teaching I think personally was just a little to much with the special needs some of my kids need with their lessons and I think I felt a bit over whelmed. I loved it but I thought maybe I was not giving the the best. We weren't attending as many activities as I cared to and I felt I was depriving them of their social time. So they returned. Slowly over the months I have had nothing but regret over it. It is not the place for my 2nd child who has autism.. I have watched him lose self esteem, regress, hate it and beg to stay home. My oldest has so many issues with his asthma he is missing a lot of school which is causing him to get behind even more then he already is with his troubles with reading and math and close to failing. So over all we have decided they are just much better off at home and I miss the time so much with them and the bond I had teaching them. So they will return to homeschooling once this year finishes out.
I chose to return to work out of being bored, feeling I needed to get out, meet people, do something for me. I found the most wonderful job at a martial arts studio and was offered to increase my hours after about a month of being there which really thrilled me but I think sadly did not thrill my family after having me home 11yrs and has been a challenge with the needs in our home. So I'm having to choose to cut back just a bit on hours. A lot of people are like why don't you go back to staying at home.. I love my job, it's become like family there, I have a wonderful time while I'm at work and have learned so much there with martial arts and have found a whole new me I haven't seen in years! I think it's healthy for me and was a wonderful step and I couldn't see myself not being there and would be very devastated to leave! I just took on a little to much to fast probably for my family size and needs lol
We got a house in the country and we move in 2 weeks and I am so thrilled to go to the quieter slower paced life in the country! To let the kids have the freedom to run free and to be able to learn and do more that we enjoy! My husband is thrilled he can have a place to shoot the rifles haha
Peyton has grown and learned so much in the preschool I put her in but again to much to fast and I miss that girl like crazy and feel like she's growing up before my eyes and like I don't know my children anymore so I'm happy to have her back home again with me before I go to work! It's just not the mom I am! It's great for those it works for but it's just not me!
Feeling very confident with some of the newer changes in life again and settling back into some old ways again.. dinner time at the table every night with prayers before meals with no exception! No eating on the couch or the living room was the first start! You can't let those little things go and lose site of them! I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family and I don't want to take another minute of it for granted!! These days are to few and far and to short!