Stuck for way to long..

Monday, December 12, 2011 12:41 AM Posted by The Cookie Cutter Diva

This has become one of my favorite songs over the last week. Every time I listen to it, I get chills and I love the beginning with what she has to say. I feel like this so much lately that just when hope faded away it came back.. that God is there forever and will always been there. That I have fought for way to long to get to where I once was. I still struggle in so many ways in my path and my life with personal things going on but I'm fighting every day more and more and giving my heart to God and hoping each day he will take a hold of it more and more and will lead me.. show me he's there forever and the path to go and that things are okay and that even in the worst moments they all serve a purpose to be where I am, what I have become, what I need to be. To not let them get the best of me like I tend to let them do at times.

I feel myself getting so down sometimes over things in the past, things I have no control of that are current or seem to keep creeping up in my life hurting me, hurting the ones I love, making me feel worthless or like I'm being slowly destroyed.

It used to be a thing of my past when I was angry I would blare something like slipknot or seether.. something I could scream too.. something that might have very depressing lyrics in all reality. I've started listening to air one lately on the radio in the car and I've come to love so many songs on there that are a lot of alternative rock I love so much but with positive words, uplifting spiritual context that can make me feel better in a positive way. Not scream in an angry way to get it out when I'm screaming the lyrics to a song playing loud but sing to him, give it to him, praise him and just cry to him to help and lead me. Music has always been a big part of my life. Every song has a meaning to me.

I'm not perfect. No human is. But I could be so much better then what I am. So much better for myself. For my kids. For my family and I will continue to strive for that. I will continue to push on the days I'm tired or running late to set an example for my kids and get to church, praise God, hear his word and start my day with a great start. If only I could rush myself there every morning to start my day the same wonderful way I start every Sunday!

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