Army Issued Wife

Monday, May 3, 2010 12:09 AM Posted by The Cookie Cutter Diva
Watching Army Wives really hit home in so many ways tonight.
I'm sure so many of us can relate in so many ways to Pamela in the sense that we have been an Army Wife for so long that we almost loose a sense of who we are and don't know how to be much else. With that being said, like Claudia many of us made that choice to give up certain paths in our lives to walk besides of our soldiers and stand by their side no matter where the Army sent them and may send us. Rather it be up rooting our family to move to a brand new place clear across the states in 60 days, leaving family behind and having to say our good byes and see them only on holidays or leave time, leaving close friends we have made along the way, leaving a college degree behind and putting it on hold till we can make new friends or find new childcare to resume it, leaving a career behind that might be easy to pick up at the new duty station or very hard for some if you have to build a new clientele even, our kids leaving behind their familiar friends, their schools, and so much more all to build a home where the Army sends us. We chose to take the path rather it be an easy one or a hard one and most of us don't regret that in any sort of way when it comes to following the love of our life or the new adventure the army life can give to us. But in a sense, some of us get lost if we had to give up certain things in life that were much more and don't know how to be more than an Army Wife.
What would we do if tomorrow we were told that our spouse lost our job in the military? What would we do if our spouse was lost at war? What would we do if our marriage fell apart from the very thing that we gave up our lives for? How do you just pick up and start your life over again as a civilian and give up the community that you know? The life style that you live every day? When you live the life every day it doesn't seem to phase you much more then that till you realize what all would be gone. Maybe some of us don't shop at the commissary and make a trip to HEB or even Walmart to get groceries because we don't want to deal with the line on pay day or it's closer then the commissary? But to be told that we could no longer use the benefits at the commissary? We'd be a little lost! We complain about the health care we receive sometimes on post (I know I do with my run around on my thyroid issues here at this post and waiting 2yrs to get treatment or taken seriously) but to be told it is no longer an option for us? That we no longer have health care? That we have to find a job that can even slightly amount to what we once lived off of? We of course appreciate it much more when it's not there and we are in a state of shock when we realize just how beneficial it really was!

How do you continue to live someone else life yet keep your own? Are there things you do to ensure that you don't "loose" yourself?

I didn't have to give up a college degree I started or a career even to come here but I know that the thought of PCSing even from here sometimes throws me for a loop. We know when he returns from his upcoming tour we will more then likely be PCSing and that sometimes looses me a little thinking of what I have here, what I will be loosing. I like to think here I have that sort of "Army Wives" community that they have on the show and have that with my friends. I know when I first moved here I really did have that but unfortunately two of my very best friends Tara and Katharine PCS'd but I still have some very close ones left. I have the kind of friends here that I know will stick with me through thick and thin. Who will bend over backwards to help me when I need them to the most. Who know the crazy side of me when I had fun, when I cut loose, when I could kick back and have good times but can deal with the completely lost wacko that I am right now on this roller coaster with my health. Have they run away? No they have stuck by my side just like they did with Claudia Joy when she found out! They have made me deal with things I didn't want to deal with and offered help when they could to ensure I got things taken care of and offered laughs and good times when I felt up to it but didn't hate me for those times I didn't feel up to it. I'm sure they are disappointed as any friend would be but they are sort of like a marriage.. they are there through thick and thin, for better or for worse, through sickness and health and that is why I love my friends here and why I can't ever imagine leaving them.

Sure, a PCS is a new adventure. I will meet new people. I will make new friends. But you don't just meet people and automatically fall into a friendship like that. It's hard to find friends like that and even harder to find a little group like that. Army wives have a way of hitting it off and finding that common ground and sticking together but sometimes you find some really really great ones that are hard to let go of and it's been hard that I've had to let go of two.. we don't talk nearly as much as we did here as I'm horrible with communication it seems and keeping in contact when far apart but I miss them so much every day!

I cried at so many parts of the show tonight. Watching Joan miss her daughters first birthday reminded me how fortunate I was that my husband left the day after our daughter Brooklyn's 1st birthday but almost missed it! But also reminded me how sad I am that he won't be here for our last child Peyton's first birthday.

It's sad to think about but as a deployment draws near it just makes you cherish the time you have together so much more and start holding on to every little moment you have together and every little memories and not waste a minute!

On a lighter note! Today was a pretty awesome day! I felt wonderful and these heart meds seem to really be helping out! A friend of ours had their daughters birthday party out at the lake today and we made it out there late but made it none the less and had a wonderful time! Especially since they opened it up for swimming today and the kids defiantly needed that after the disappointment of the hole in their brand new pool I had to return!

I absolutely love the start of summer and can't wait to spend more time out at the lake and watch the little happy faces running up the stairs and screaming down the water slides!

1 Response to "Army Issued Wife"

  1. Nana' Says:

    Well, I feel for you gals. However, I can understand it from the kids point of view - I got upset everytime I had to leave my school and friends - yup, I was a child of an army career father. But, I can say, it made for a pretty good life looking around at all the people now loosing their jobs. Thank heavens, I am retired. Even though we have alway been self employed, it is a dog eat dog world out there with all the layoffs and people cutting back. I thank the Lord that I have some beautiful children in heart and sole and that I was always able to provide for them.

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